The R.B.F. The
Resting Bitch Face. It's a thing and it's well and it's alive. According to
Urban Dictionary - because where else does one go for research on this kind of thing - it says that Resting Bitch Face is
a person, usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless, without meaning to.
Resting Bitch Face, or Bitchy Resting Face, has been an online presence for quite some time now;
Anna Kendrick probably being the
involuntary spokeswoman for it. Anna Paquin (is there a correlation between R.B.F and women named Anna?!) talked about hers on Jimmy Kimmel saying that even though she's happy with her life, her face still looks like she wants to go out and kill people. There's even an
SNL-style spoof commercial talking about R.B.F. One of my favorite responses to R.B.F., though, is Jezebel writer Kristine Gutierrez's article titled "
Why I Love My Bitchy Resting Face".
In the article she mentions that there are studies that show that a smile and a pleasant face is closely related to femininity and "sexual identification". Gutierrez mentions one study that had volunteers try to decide what gender a group of babies were. Most said that the smiling babies were girls and the non-smiling babies were boys when, of course, some were boys too. How about that. So does this mean that if a guy is walking down a street with a "resting asshole face" - quoting the Taylor Orci written spoof-commercial - more people are likely to write it off whereas if a woman is walking down the street with a resting bitch face, more people are likely to see something wrong?
But why does there have to be something wrong? Can't I just let my R.B.F. live? Can't I just let my face be, well,
my face?! More times than I can count - and more times than I'd really like to admit - I've had people ask me what's the matter. What's wrong? Why do you look so sad? Are you not having fun? You don't look excited/surprised/happy/[insert other joyful emotion here]. And, my personal favorite, when people skip right over the questions and go straight for the pro-active approach:
SMILE, DAMN IT. I used to be extremely self conscious of my naturally sad looking face. My mouth, by default, turns downwards, my eyebrows have no arches, and I have tired eyes. The recipe for the perfect Resting Bitch Face. I've had managers at work tell me to smile (which, in their defense is understandable given I work retail - but still!), I've had every girl's nightmare: strangers on the street requesting me to smile (
REQUESTING, not asking), and I've had people tell me I have "the saddest eyes they've ever seen".
I understand my co-workers and family and friends asking me why I look so sad. I know it's because they genuinely care. But why do other people have such a problem with it? And why don't people have a problem with Resting Asshole Face? It's refreshing to see people like Kristine Gutierrez and actresses Anna Kendrick and Anna Paquin embrace their R.B.F. One of my favorite parts of Gutierrez's article is why you should enjoy having a Resting Bitch Face. She says that it prevents her "from looking like a delusional murder" and that it "connects [her] with [her] true emotions". Personally, from living in downtown Chicago and growing up in Los Angeles, R.B.F. is a great thing to have when you're walking alone at night (which you shouldn't do anyway, but when duty calls...). By having a "mean" looking face, you're automatically repelling any creep that wants to take advantage of a pleasant, happy-looking, smiling girl! It can save you when you're on the El at 2 a.m. alone.
Yes, I get it. Because smiles are contagious and women are naturally maternal and most of the time want to care for others, using a smile to inflict the same seeming emotion on another is productive. By using a smile in customer service, it tells people that everything is alright, you're happy, I'm happy, we're all good to go. We smile when we're given a shitty gift
to seem polite, we smile when our friends show us a dress that looks really bad on her
to seem like you're not trying to show her through your face how bad it really does look. It's a fake smile most of the time. I hate to break it to you but it is. Not everyone can be smiling all the time. And certianly not every woman can be smiling all the time. Gutierrez's piece quotes
this great Slate article about how stewardesses on airplanes who essentially make a living off of smiling and caring for others, tend to not be in touch with their emotions after working and can slip into a depression from forcing themselves to look and act happy all the time.
In
this article from Today, the author writes about how there are plastic surgery options for people with Chronic Bitch Face to appear happier and more pleasant. Ladies! Don't do it. I mean, do what you want with your body but I do not recommend! Embrace your sass face! Embrace the fact that you're the "ugly duckling" with your sad, tired eyes and naturally downward drawn mouth! You don't have to please everyone (and God forbid, you do not have to please that creep on the street telling you to lighten up and "give him a smile"). You only have to please yourself and if that's rocking your Resting Bitch Face, then rock that Resting Bitch Face.
